Latest news from around the solar system 5/7/2022
Gladiator fights back on Rhea 5/7/2022
It's been 8 years since the Rhea parliament banned the popular gladiator fights where combatants bat...
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Titans offered surgery to remove sense of smell 4/16/2022
The Titan government has offered a new solution to the Titan stench problem. All residents of Titan ...
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Governor of Ganymede escapes from kidnappers 4/6/2022
The governor of Ganymede who was kidnapped last week and tortured by communist rebels showed up toda...
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Uruguayans furious over Argentine killing of Pluto capybara. 3/31/2022
Last night drunk celebrating Argentines on one of the Pluto bases controlled by Argentina killed and...
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Governor of Ganymede kidnapped by communist rebels 3/29/2022
Earlier today a group of heavily armed communist rebels stormed the Ganymede capitol building and ab...
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Martian psycho rights leader killed by psycho 3/25/2022
Oleg Popov, leader of the Martian Association of the Acceptance of the Medically Psychotic, or MAAMP...
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Uruguay takes control of Charon 3/22/2022
Uruguay has now taken control of both bases on Charon in effect giving them control over all human c...
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Mars psycho murders 3/15/2022
Murders have been commonplace on Mars for decades, but some Earth governments are now saying enough ...
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Lapetus imposes quarantine to stop syphilis outbreak 3/11/2022
Lapetus authorities have issued a global quarantine order effective immediately to stop the recent s...
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Argentina threatens Uruguay with nuclear war 3/10/2022
An official statement from the pink house released this morning threatens Uruguay with war on Earth ...
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This week in history
1989 - Plans announced for Moon highway 4/30/1989
Plans for a new lunar highway were announced today connecting the two main lunar bases with what wil...
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1984 - Disco lives on Mars 5/17/1984
Disco may have been dead on Earth for a while, but in Brezhnevgrad, Mars it's the hottest thing. New...
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1982 - Moon hotel named after impossible position 4/23/1982
The moon hotel opened by Moon Pimp 3 years ago has been officially renamed ''Hotel Skull Crusher''. ...
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2009 - Enceladus water goes on sale on Earth 4/19/2009
Water imported from Enceladus went on sale worldwide last week priced at around USD 250 per half lit...
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2003 - Rhea settled 5/27/2003
The last of the large Saturn moons was settled today when a lander with 79 people on board touched d...
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