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Latest news from around the solar system 6/24/2022
Nuclear Weapons on Oberon
The government of Oberon today announced they have successfully tested a nuclear bomb. By the end of...
Gladiator fights back on Rhea
It's been 8 years since the Rhea parliament banned the popular gladiator fights where combatants bat...
Titans offered surgery to remove sense of smell
The Titan government has offered a new solution to the Titan stench problem. All residents of Titan ...
Governor of Ganymede escapes from kidnappers
The governor of Ganymede who was kidnapped last week and tortured by communist rebels showed up toda...
Uruguayans furious over Argentine killing of Pluto capybara.
Last night drunk celebrating Argentines on one of the Pluto bases controlled by Argentina killed and...
Governor of Ganymede kidnapped by communist rebels
Earlier today a group of heavily armed communist rebels stormed the Ganymede capitol building and ab...
Martian psycho rights leader killed by psycho
Oleg Popov, leader of the Martian Association of the Acceptance of the Medically Psychotic, or MAAMP...
Uruguay takes control of Charon
Uruguay has now taken control of both bases on Charon in effect giving them control over all human c...
Mars psycho murders
Murders have been commonplace on Mars for decades, but some Earth governments are now saying enough ...
Lapetus imposes quarantine to stop syphilis outbreak
Lapetus authorities have issued a global quarantine order effective immediately to stop the recent s...
This week in history
1991 - Captain Franco of Callisto injured in assassination attempt
Captain Franco who has been fighting a rebellion on Callisto for the last several months was injured...
2014 - First successful Oberon Landing
Oberon became the latest world settled by the human race today when a lander carrying 54 touched dow...
2004 - Baseless arrests on Europa
A requirement of the newly formed Europa Police Department is that they must arrest at least 10 peop...
2007 - King Bob of Io marries
His royal highness King Bob I of Io today married all 16 women on Io in a lavish ceremony. The women...
2002 - Titan receives first human settlers
A 242 man crew landed on Titan earlier today to make preparations for what will become the largest m...
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