Latest news from around the solar system 9/13/2022
Nuclear Weapons on Oberon 6/24/2022
The government of Oberon today announced they have successfully tested a nuclear bomb. By the end of...
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Gladiator fights back on Rhea 5/7/2022
It's been 8 years since the Rhea parliament banned the popular gladiator fights where combatants bat...
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Titans offered surgery to remove sense of smell 4/16/2022
The Titan government has offered a new solution to the Titan stench problem. All residents of Titan ...
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Governor of Ganymede escapes from kidnappers 4/6/2022
The governor of Ganymede who was kidnapped last week and tortured by communist rebels showed up toda...
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Uruguayans furious over Argentine killing of Pluto capybara. 3/31/2022
Last night drunk celebrating Argentines on one of the Pluto bases controlled by Argentina killed and...
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Governor of Ganymede kidnapped by communist rebels 3/29/2022
Earlier today a group of heavily armed communist rebels stormed the Ganymede capitol building and ab...
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Martian psycho rights leader killed by psycho 3/25/2022
Oleg Popov, leader of the Martian Association of the Acceptance of the Medically Psychotic, or MAAMP...
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Uruguay takes control of Charon 3/22/2022
Uruguay has now taken control of both bases on Charon in effect giving them control over all human c...
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Mars psycho murders 3/15/2022
Murders have been commonplace on Mars for decades, but some Earth governments are now saying enough ...
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Lapetus imposes quarantine to stop syphilis outbreak 3/11/2022
Lapetus authorities have issued a global quarantine order effective immediately to stop the recent s...
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This week in history
1980 - First Americans land on Mars 9/15/1980
After being beat to Mars by several Soviet crews, the Americans today finally made a successful land...
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1994 - Lunatic declares himself king of Io 9/11/1994
An insane member of the first crew to land on Io last month has now declared himself king of Io. The...
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1994 - Martian penile explosions remain a mystery 9/20/1994
The investigation into the gruesome wave of penile explosions that killed hundreds of Martians last ...
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2002 - Murder during first Lapetus landing 9/6/2002
A team of 127 people entered a lander to Lapetus today, but only 126 made it to the surface alive. U...
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1991 - Ganymede landing ends in deadly violence. 9/21/1991
The first human landing on Ganymede ended in chaos today as two senior crew members started fighting...
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